Let’s face it: there are plenty things you don’t give a shit about. Consider the following examples.
- Your coworker’s dead dog.
- Your friend’s flat tire.
- Your relative travelling to Spain.
Your problem is that you pretend that you care.
If you’re going to float to the top, learn to admit your apathy, and take some advice from life expert Laura Vanderkam.
Notice Ms. Vanderkam’s triple-threatedness.
First, she is aware of what she wants. Second, she externalizes that want. Third, she speaks her want with boldness.
With Ms. Vanderkam’s insights in mind, let’s revisit some of the scenarios I’ve already presented, asking ourselves, “What would Ms. Vanderkam say?”
Your coworker’s dead dog. In your more deceptive moments, you would feign concern. But when that urge to dissemble rises in your heart and rushes up your throat like vomit, swallow it down, and remember what Ms. Vanderkam would say:
“I’m sorry, it’s not a priority.”
Sure, Ms. Vanderkam’s coworker might think she’s a bitch. Does Ms. Vanderkam care? Well, I don’t know…but how does it feel?
Your friend’s flat tire. As humans we may have a natural inclination to care about the problems of others. But sometimes our natural inclination is to chain-whip.
So when your friend lurches into the story of the flat tire, spare yourself the prison sentence and ask, “What would Ms. Vanderkam say?”
Well, I don’t know, but she might say, “It’s not a priority.”
How does that feel?
Relative travelling to Spain. You used to pretend to be interested in family reports. Now they will be met by a wall of apathy. Forgo rudeness and stop mustering false excitement. Then consider the facts:
- You still hold a grudge against the Spanish Armada.
- You prefer Portugal.
- Bullfighting is murder.
Now ask yourself, “What would Ms. Vanderkam say?”
She might just say, “It’s not a priority.”
And how does that feel?
You can see how easy this is, how it cuts away the dead weight and frees you to be interested in what matters most: your life.
So avoid interactions you loathe, the heartbreak you despise, the stories that bore. And remember Ms. Vanderkam’s mantra: “It’s not a priority.”
You’re damn right.
How does that feel?
I’m Josh Litton, Keep Floating To The Top.
